Amalia Angela

Dear Amalia Angela,

I want to tell you about a girl who turned red.

Not once, not twice — but every single time you were near. A girl who has been counting 423 days, not because anyone told her to, but because each one felt like something worth marking. Something she never wanted to forget.

I think about December 1st more than you know. That jeepney ride. The way you laid your head on my lap so casually, like it was nothing — while I was sitting there completely falling apart, trying so hard to look cool. You had no idea. My face was red. I tried to look away. I tried to act like I didn't notice. But I couldn't stop making sure no one bumped your head. That was already me — already choosing you before I even had the words for it.

And then the rain. The blocked road. The cramps. And that walk — 14 minutes, maybe 700 meters, your arms around my neck, the rain coming down. I said "tara, sakay ka na sa likod ko" like it was nothing. But it was everything. My arms were getting sore and I didn't care even a little bit. Because you were there — warm and trusting on my back. Holding on. And when we got back, you — the one with cramps, soaked from the rain, the one I had just carried through all of it — were the one asking if I was okay. That was the moment I knew. Completely, helplessly, happily — I was gone for you.

On February 3, 2025, you gave a name to everything I had already been feeling. And I have been the happiest, reddest-faced, most grateful person in all of Antipolo ever since.

We debug code. We survive trims together. We eat wherever we can afford and somehow it always feels like the best meal. We ride jeepneys and we study and we stress and we laugh. And in all of that — you became my favorite thing about every single day. The part I look forward to. The part that makes hard things easier to carry.

I know this is an early commitment — for me to give, and for me to take. But I want to grow. I want to do this for us. Not because I want things to move fast — but because I want to show you how much you mean to me. I don't ever want to lose you. I really don't.

I cry in every argument. I go quiet in those moments. I always take your side and I don't complain — not because I have nothing to say, but because my intentions are clear and my love for you has always been clearer. It doesn't always look like determination. But it is. It shows exactly how much I care for you and how serious I am about this.

You told me once: "kung gusto mo gawin, gagawa ng paraan." And with or without a proper way, I will do this again and again — with or without a physical ring, with or without a grand setting or somewhere better. Because money and the things I give will never measure how much I love you. It has always been the effort. The showing up. The staying. And I know you always see that.

I'm not asking because of timing or logic or because some algorithm says it makes sense. I'm asking because I already know. I knew it on December 1st. I knew it on February 3rd. I know it today, on Day 423, and I will know it on every day that comes after.

I want to keep carrying you through the rainstorms.

I want to keep hugging you when i feel tired.

I want to keep telling you how much you mean to me.

I want to keep writing you letters. or making you something

I want to keep making you smile and laugh.

I want to keep be there for you always

I want to keep arguing and making up. and learning every day

I want to keep calling you babi, mocha, aki, love ,darling and mine everyday

I want to keep turning red because of you.

I want to keep choosing you — every trimester, every day, forever.

— Prince